Today is my twenty-fifth birthday and I’m unsure on how I feel about that. The months leading up to twenty five have caused me to reflect on my life which ultimately led me to think about some of the ways my twenties haven’t really gone the way my teenage self thought they would.
1. I have no idea what I’m doing
When I was in high school I thought for sure by now I would have life figured out. I thought I would be working my dream job, have a house, have the perfect car, be well on my way to starting a family, etc. but in reality I feel super lost most of the time. While I love my job and my car, I still feel I should have my life more together by now. Everyone’s path is different though and I try and remind myself I could be a lot worse off. The older I get the more convinced I am that most adults are actually just winging it and only seem like they have it all together so I may always feel this way and I’m starting to just accept it.
2. I still live at home
This is a big stressor in my life and one that is something only I put pressure on myself about. My parents don’t mind that I still live with them and never make me feel unwelcome but it’s hard to not feel like a failure when most people my age are living on their own and I still am not. I love my parents and we have a good relationship so it has nothing to do with that, but I definitely want my own space and I easily get caught up comparing myself to others. That being said I know a lot of people ‘out on their own’ who get help from their family to pay bills which is something that a) isn’t an option for me and b) wouldn’t be something I would want anyway. I try to remind myself of that when I start stressing myself out for not having the super cute apartment my sixteen year old self dreamed of, but it can be hard.
3. I don’t travel
I thought for sure by now I would have been to at least a few countries, but that hasn’t happened. I’ve either been in college or working since high school which hasn’t permitted much time off. I’m grateful to have been able to find work in my field almost right out of college and finding jobs has never been a real struggle for me so I’m thankful for that and try and remind myself of that when I feel down. I’m thankful too for the mini weekend getaways I’ve had in Ottawa and Toronto, so it’s not like I never go anywhere. I’m still young so there’s definitely still time for vacations but I always feel envious seeing everyone’s vacation photos.
4. I’m nowhere close to being married
In my teen years I certainly thought I would at least be engaged at 25, which certainly isn’t be the case. While I feel as though I’m ready to meet my person and settle down, this is the one I have the easiest time accepting. While I feel ready, there’s obviously some other lessons I need to learn and things I need to experience before I’m truly ready. I hope to be married in the future still but I’m more than okay waiting a bit longer for the right one.
I think most of my biggest hang-ups in my life currently could easily be avoided if I didn’t compare myself to others. While I think I would still feel a little lost at times, it wouldn’t be near as much as it currently is. With social media being so popular these days (especially as a blogger) it’s so easy to get caught up with what everyone else is going. Though I know social media is just the highlights of people’s lives I think subconsciously it effects me.
My goal for 25 is to compare myself to others less. Someone is always going to have it better (or worse) than me and I want to focus more on trusting the timing of my life. I may still live at home, am single, and don’t quite have everything figured out, but those things will change when they’re supposed to. I have had a lot of really great experiences in my 25 years, and some not so great ones too, but ultimately I’m so thankful for where I’m at right now and I hope that 25 is my best year yet!